Tags: lonely

MoskoFat

Loneliness, 1983 (Prompt: Loneliness)

In 1983

I was 19

and it seemed

a giant orgy

was going on

everywhere I wasn't.

 

It was before AIDS broke wide

and VHS took hardcore

out of the peepshow.

 

I heard about

youthful drinking,

debauched innocence,

and the guys who worked

at the Baskin Robbins

would tell me how they'd

get high on the

nitrous oxide used

in the whipped cream.

 

I watched it

with timidity

from the safety of my

prophylactic

bedroom window.

 

I tried to tell myself

I was above it all,

that if I gave in to it

 

I'd fail out of school and

I'd never amount to anything and

I'd prove my father right.

 

But, really, I was scared.

 

I knew if I got lost there

I’d probably

never

come

back.

 

So

I waited out

those lonely college

years

surrounded by

 

my school books,

my vcr

and my

virginity.